A month ago I had a discussion with indie where we essentially decided to “shit or get off the pot”. She’d been hanging around with me for six months and she’d never experienced a D/s relationship before. Neither of us knew if she had the need to submit and there’s no better way to find out than to just do it, as Nike says. We decided to put her under a one-month contract. I gave her a set of rules and we embarked on the trial run.
I appreciate her so much. She’s been a great friend and an amazing means of support. I connect with indie on all of the vanilla items that a person looks for. I enjoy her sense of humor, her personality, she’s professionally ambitious and driven, she’s attractive, the sex is great, etc. I also enjoy beating her and our scenes have been cathartic. The downside is that (just as I had suspected) we just aren’t a match on a D/s level. I won’t get into why, because just like my breakup with my slave, it’s no one else’s business. She’s a good person and it’s not that she did anything wrong at all. We just don’t match and “we” includes me. There’s no fault in not matching.
After our one-month trial, we took a few days off to be introspective and then we agreed to meet for dinner last night to discuss the previous month. One of my tasks as a responsible dominant is to get my head above water so that I can make a wise decision in this circumstance. It’s not easy to let someone go. I didn’t let her go because I don’t care about her, I let her go because I care about her immensely. She also agreed and knew in her heart that we aren’t a match on a D/s level. Every pot has a lid and I want her to find the lid that fits her perfectly rather than settling for the lid that just sort of fits. Our dinner was filled with tacos and tears and I’ll never go back to that restaurant again. I’ve released a few girls in my time and I’ve never returned to any location where a release took place.
We’ll still be friends, of course. I suspect that our friendship will change once she finds that perfect lid and I respect that. She’s got a good head on her shoulders and I’ll respect her new relationship, when it comes along, by giving it the distance that it deserves. I know she’ll read this blog and I hope she gets to the end so she can read this part where I tell you all that my heart will always hold a special place for her. I’m forever grateful to her and I’ll always be here for my dear friend indie.