Ren Faire BDSM

I went to the dungeon last night and I walked into the main room as my mentor was finishing up a scene.  I saw two guys hovering around his play space and I could tell they wanted to use the area.  One of them was a shirtless guy and the other was obviously his companion in some capacity.  I thought to myself, “Oh cool, we don’t see much guy on guy play at this dungeon,” so I sat down to watch.  I’m not bi or gay, but watching two guys play is a rarity for me and it’s interesting.  Guy-guy play is very different from hetero play and can be very heavy and brutal.  As it turns out, I like heavy and brutal, so hell yes I’ll watch.

As they were preparing the area, I noticed three girls that seemed to be lurking in a corner of the room.  After the guys had set some things out, they went and got the girls.  “Oh, I guess these are straight dudes”, I thought.  The girls kneeled down and then one of the guys kneeled down, too.  “Ok, maybe it’s a bi scene.”  The shirtless guy started getting toys out and that’s when I noticed that all of his toys were in heavy duty flight cases.  The kind that are black with shiny chrome metal on the edges and corners.  I’m pretty certain that just the boxes for his toys were more expensive than all of my toys combined.  Ugh, I smell “ren faire”.

“Ren faire” is my term for people that dress the part and have all of the accessories, but they’re not genuinely into BDSM as a lifestyle.  They’re play acting.  Because you go to a summertime Renaissance Faire, put on a purple robe and crown and speak in a poorly executed British accent doesn’t make you a king in 1293 AD.

So shirtless guy starts pulling out all of the cliche toys that money can buy.  Leather hood, check.  Blindfold, check.  Cuffs, check.  Hitachi vibrator, check.  Violet wand, check.  Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with any or all of those things, but watching some trust fund shirtless douche give his interpretation of BDSM performance art bores the fuck out of me.  Take that shit to some snooty, white-walled art gallery where people can pretend to analyze your scene and politely clap when you’re done.

I got bored pretty quickly, hugged my friends, and got out of Dodge.  Fucking ren faire.

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2 thoughts on “Ren Faire BDSM

  1. That was a shame. I was looking for some meaty, heavy duty action. Ho hum. An anti-climax. Must have been worse for you as you were there! Now I understand why you’re pissed.

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