The End Is The Beginning

She and I have had some communication over the last week.  I won’t go into the details, but it’s been a little good and a little bad.  She’s finally owning up to the mistakes she made and to doing terrible things to me that I didn’t deserve.  Remorse is good and my hope for her is that she’ll gain wisdom and growth so she doesn’t make these mistakes in the future.  We met briefly on Thursday night and she was going to see our friend, the Life Coach, on Friday.  After her meeting, she went home to write things down and to have some introspective time.  We agreed to meet this morning at 10am to talk.

We talked, we cried, she apologized, and she was finally honest with me about some things that have been bothering her for quite some time.  I wish she had been able to be open with me earlier.  I don’t want kids and I’ve known that since I was in my mid-late 20’s.  When I was about 34, I went and had a vasectomy.  On our first date, I asked her if she wanted kids and I was happy to hear her say no.  She was 25 at the time.  Her sister had a kid about a year ago and she admitted to me today that she’s been having the itch to have a baby ever since then.  I know what it’s like to grow and change and if she had told me this a year ago, I wouldn’t have even been angry.  I would have been sad, yes, but we do a lot of changing from the ages of 25-30.  At least we could have addressed this issue a year ago and other things that she did wouldn’t have happened.  Relationships take compromise, but there’s obviously no compromise on this issue.

We talked some more and I hope that I can also grow from our conversation.  I like to analyze and receive constructive criticism about how I can be a better dominant.  The pursuit of mastery in the art of BDSM is important to me.  We understand that there are things she wants and needs that are deal breakers for this relationship.  We walked to our cars together.  We hugged.  We cried.  We promised to be good to each other.  And then she walked out of my life forever.


4 thoughts on “The End Is The Beginning

  1. I like the fact that you are gaining wisdom. You’re handling this so well! It’s better to part with kindness that way you can truly treasure the memories.

    • Thank you and I agree. Bitterness gets you nothing in life except frustration. I want to remember the great times I had over the last 5 1/2 years. It’s a part of my history that changed me forever.

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