Do I See Light?

Yesterday was a great day.  I drove 3 hours north with a few friends.  We met another friend on his new 30 acres of property.  Except for a few small buildings, the property is undeveloped; there’s no water or electricity.  We had fun shooting on his land.  I brought a big pumpkin and a couple of smaller pie pumpkins to shoot at.  We blasted them with handguns, rifles, and shotguns.  After that, we spent some time manning chainsaws and machetes cutting down some trees and scrub that our friend needed cleared.  We shot a little more after that and then headed back down south after spending about 5 hours in the wilderness.  It was a great morning and afternoon spent doing man shit with guys that I consider my brothers.  In the evening, I went with my mentor and 3 of his girls to a haunted maze thing.  It was fun watching the girls get scared and I had some good conversation with him and his slave (the life coach).  Then, I went to my first play party at the dungeon as a single dominant last night.  The submissive who inspired me to start blogging went with me and several of the guys from my men’s group were there.  It was good that I had people around and I didn’t feel too alone.  There were a few times during the evening that my thoughts started to bum me out, but I handled it all well.  I stayed in the social areas and I didn’t venture into the play spaces at all, though.

This afternoon is a new challenge: Disneyland.  I’m going to go and I think I’ll be ok.  I feel the anger stage of my grieving process starting to take over.  In the past few days it’s been a mix of angry and sad, but now it’s a bit more on the angry side of things.  I’m still holding to my promise to be good to each other.  I haven’t texted except to answer one question that she asked me and I’m not going to do anything like talk mean on Facebook or FetLife.  I really do believe that you can tell a lot about a person’s character by how they treat their ex during a breakup.  Being mean only really accomplishes two things.  One, it builds up bad karma.  Two, it scares off potential future partners.  No girl wants to be with a guy that bashes his ex.  She doesn’t want to think that she could be on the chopping block down the road, suffering your vengeance.

Hopefully this series of my blog will be ending soon and we can get back to our regularly scheduled program of kink and naughtiness.

Light at the end of the tunnel...

Light at the end of the tunnel…


11 thoughts on “Do I See Light?

  1. I went through all five stages. Eventually you get there…and you are right. I steer clear of men who only have trash to say about their ex.

    Hugs. Glad it is getter better.

  2. How did Disney Land go? I hope it was a positive experience. I’m so glad you had some fun with your friends. And you right it is a good thing to keep check of emotions toward an ex. The thing is, no ones at fault for changing who they are in life or what the want out if life. It’s nice to be able to change and grow together, but sometimes that’s just not possible. It’s better to let go and find your next chapter than to hold in and manifest resentment between each other. I’m sure the universe has a plan off you that is just as amazing as the journey you went on with you ex. I hope it shows itself soon to you. All the best from across the sea 🙂 x

  3. Each day it will get easier and easier. Hang in there…surround yourself with friends and positive people as often as you can. I’ve been reading and am so sorry You have had to go through this. Reading your posts, I’ve felt your pain and some very familiar feelings from my own experiences. I can really relate. I respect you and admire your strength in writing about this. It takes a lot to pour it out, but in the end it is so worth it…its part of the process of healing. Sending you a hug….

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