I get urges, just like most men. I often see a girl and think to myself, “Wow, I’d really like to fuck her”. For me, sex is often about the hunt and the conquest. Once I’ve managed to have sex with the object of my desire, she looses my interest. There are exceptions to the rule, of course. If I’m interested in a relationship with the girl, then my desire continues.
I have other urges, too. Urges that aren’t like most men. I’ll see a girl and think to myself, “Wow, I’d really like to beat her until she’s bruised up and unable to walk because her head is so clouded from sensory overload”. I’ll often see a random girl and wonder what she looks like when she’s crying. I would never act on these urges in a non-consensual manner just like I would never have sex with a girl without her consent.
A few weeks ago, I felt the urge toward an inanimate object. That’s a new one! My slave and I were walking into a Mexican restaurant near my house and the entrance was flanked by rose bushes. I saw a beautiful rose in full bloom and my reaction to this pretty thing was to grab it, yank it from its stem, and throw its petals onto the ground. My slave looked at me with that “WTF?” look in her eye and without hesitation, the words rolled off of my tongue, “Sometimes I just want to hurt something pretty”. I was quite taken with the statement, so a few days later I reenacted the scenario so I could capture it as a photo and video. I guess I imagined it to be some artsy visual representation of what I sometimes feel inside.