BDSM: An Introduction

The intent of creating this blog is not to teach you the ins and outs of BDSM.  Rather, it is to give you a glimpse into the life of someone who lives BDSM 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  It may be exciting to you, but most of the time it will look like the life of many vanilla people.  I do, however, feel the need to give you a basic primer on BDSM so that you can understand some of the terms that I will use.  Keep in mind that there is no Old Oxford English BDSM Dictionary, so many of these terms are open to interpretation and these are my interpretations.  So, my dear readers, here are some things that I hope will help you if you choose to follow my journey:

BDSM – BDSM is an initialism (not an acronym read a grammar text book if you want to geek out and understand the difference…I did).  BD stands for bondage and discipline, DS stands for dominance and submission, and SM stands for sadomasochism or sadism and masochism (aka S&M).  People that partake in BDSM may enjoy one or several of these concepts.  For instance, you may enjoy S&M, but may not enjoy DS (aka a power exchange relationship).

Sadist – A  person that enjoys inflicting physical and/or emotional pain on another person.

Masochist – The ying to a sadists yang…a person that enjoys receiving physical and/or emotional pain.

Scene – A scene is basically a session in which two people will play together.  It may be a spanking scene, a bondage scene, a humiliation scene, etc.

Top – The aggressor in a scene (i.e. the spanker).

Bottom – The person receiving said aggression in a scene (i.e. the spankee).

Dominant – Within the context of a DS relationship (aka power exchange), the dominant is the person who wields the power and authority.

Submissive – The person who has offered the authority and submits to a dominant.  Usually a submissive negotiates certain things that are off limits and retains control of those “hard limits”.

Slave – Similar to a submissive. They also offer authority to another person, but completely surrender to them in all things.

Master – A person who owns a slave when said slave consents to offer themselves to the master.

SSC – A mantra of many people involved in BDSM. This initialism stands for Safe, Sane, and Consensual.  I think it’s inherently flawed because a lot of what we do is not safe at all.

RACK – This acronym stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink.  I believe this is a much better mantra.  We’re aware that what we’re doing is risky and we weigh the consequences of our actions.  Notice the word consensual; that’s imperative.

Those are the basics.  More vocabulary will come along, but I’ll explain the words as I go.  Otherwise, Google is your friend.

Image from a Chase and Sanborn Coffee advertisement c. 1952, text inserted by me.

chase_and_sanborn_ad lifestyle

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